Updated: May 28
I Took A Tip From My 6 Year Old For This Reward Chart And My Life Is So Much Easier!
My kids are strong willed and have minds all of their own. As they get older, they test the waters more and more-pushing me closer and closer to a mental breakdown. Bless their hearts.
Time outs no longer work. As they get bigger, it's more difficult for me to actually get them to stay in any designated time out area.
I've taken away the XBOX, and any tv time. I've taken away favorite toys-even ALL of their toys. One of my kids pushed me so far I packed up all of his toys into garbage bags and put them in my husband's car for a week.
I've made my kids stay home from fun events like birthday parties because of their behavior. I give them chances to turn it around and I tell them the consequence. Follow through is a must so my kids have had a wide array of discipline tactics used on them.
I had tried a reward chart on our white board and the kids would earn stars for good behavior and have a star erased for breaking rules/not listening. After so many stars, they'd get an allowance to go buy a small toy. Say, 10 stars equaled $10.
Guys......They never made it to 10 stars....ever! Not once! After a while, they didn't care. I even dropped it down to 5 stars, they never made it.
Even with them knowing what's ahead, if they choose to move forward with their actions......Guess what?! I have one kid who always goes full steam ahead and then says "Go ahead and take my stuff".
After depleting my discipline arsenal, I was left feeling completely defeated.
I asked my son, tears streaming down my face, what in the world should I do? You don't care about any consequence, you don't care about following rules. What is going to make you listen??!!
He told me about a method his teachers use for problem students at school who are on a discipline plan.
There is a clipboard with a paper on it and stickers are placed on it when the student has a good day or shows good behavior. An X is given when there is bad behavior. At the end of the week, they get to pick from the teacher's prize box if they earned enough stars.
My son spoke about this method as if it were a really big deal. An X is a very bad thing. Is this going to be something he finally takes seriously?? So, i thought...Sounds easy enough, let's give it a try!
He told me all the details of what materials I needed and what the incentive is.
So, off to the store I went.
I went to the Dollar Store and picked up the following:
Clipboards -1 for each kid
Prizes to put in "my prize box". Ranging from candy to pens to small toys
I made a custom reward chart PRINTABLE with the 3 main areas they have trouble with:
When the kids got home, I went over the new rewards chart system with them so that all of the kids were on the same page.
They helped me pick a day out of the week when my "store" would be open for them to collect their reward for their good behavior. The child with the most X's has to wait to pick last. They each get to go alone to pick their prize so there is no fighting and it feels special for them all.
For every 3 stars, they get to pick 1 item. So 6 stars get them 2 prizes, 9 stars gets them 3, etc.
They chose Wednesday.
They all look forward to Wednesday when they get to collect their prizes. They love having their own clipboard to make it feel official and special.
I notice that my kids are mindful in working together so they can earn a team work sticker. And, when I give them a sticker they ask what it was for so they know what to do more of. They are taking control of their behavior and trying their best to keep their attitudes in check.
Parenting has been a lot easier in the last month due to this method. And its all thanks to the advice of my 6 year old!
When they refuse to listen or are misbehaving all I have to say is, "do you want to earn a sticker or should I give you an X?", and they shape right up and I don't have to yell anymore.
If you are struggling with finding a discipline technique that works, I highly suggest giving this method a try. It's been a game change in my house!
If you'd like to print the Reward Chart, click the PDF link below: